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24 October 2010

My Apologies...

OK, so I am sorry for the rant. That was a little melodramatic on my part.

But for real for real, I am very frustrated lately. I felt like I had this wild epiphany a week ago to work abstractly and I felt like a genius and totally wild and enlightened. Then I went to bed, woke up, and realized how stupid it all looked. Now I am back to painting fruit and gourds. Not that I don't love painting food, I really do. I actually make a living doing that very thing at Trader Joe's and thoroughly enjoy it. I just feel like I haven't grown much as an artist lately/since I graduated. I have all these wild dreams and aspirations and I feel like I am going to have a hard time accomplish them painting large paintings of fruit and gourds.

I feel like I need a week free of agenda for me to accomplish things. Like cleaning my mess of a room, making art, applying to grad schools, planning italy, and being awesome. I haven't done any of those things in so long. I'm sitting here in a mess of a room, totally frustrated and terrified to tackle this monster (it's actually not that bad... I cleaned a lot of it the other day, the rest is just what hasn't found a place yet... and so far there's no hope of finding one...)

I also want to start singing. However, I am totally shy, bashful, and embarrassed to do so, so this will probably never go further than me singing loudly in my car. The only people who will probably witness my singing will be strangers in cars stopped at red lights near me or driving on the highway next to me. This is good news for people who know me since they probably will never hear me sing, but unfortunate for the unlucky drivers around me. My apologies to the Philadelphia area.

So... an idea occurred to me as I was typing. Hey Self, stop typing... find a free spot of floor in your room (dramatization, I promise).... stand there... and start to clean. Yes! Brilliant! THEN!... get your sketchbook out of its new "place" and ... DRAW! Amazing! How did I ever think of this?! Self, you are brilliant and awesome.

By the way, for the 2.3 people who might skim through this, if you have reached this point you are not crazy. I am just seriously sleep deprived, moody, depressed over the Phillies loss and the end of baseball season (in my eyes), hungry, chilly, and seriously tired. Thanks for being a pal and reading, I hope it at least provided a few minutes of amusement. Gah.


I am soooo lazy.

I drive myself crazy with the LACK of everything that I do.

I HAVE to paint more. I'm soo behind and haven't produced anything in forever. Where do my days go!? Maybe I'll have more time since I won't be watching the Phillies for another 6 months...

Sad face.

09 October 2010

Name Change

So, as you can see, I've renamed my blog. I realized that lately it has regrettably become less focused on art I'm making, and more about day-to-day happenings and goals. So that's what this will become. Adventures in anything from cooking, painting, and work to planning trips, applying to grad schools, attending historical baseball games, and slowly making my studio better and better.

Grad school applications are getting started. Yay! Italy planning is still... being planned, haha. And today I plan on cooking AND painting. Good little Saturday :)

So, to go along with this new theme, I have some pics of some delicious Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins I made Thursday night. The recipe make about 24 small muffins, 12 of which I brought to work and 12 I left at home. There are now about 7 at home, and I plan to drastically reduce that number in the next day or 2, with help or without.

Here are some tasty pics :)

Before baking...

The mess... this actually is just the mess collected in my sink. The real mess was all over the counters :)

Tasty tasty muffins


04 October 2010

Little Adventures, Here and There

So life lately has been... busy? Eventful? Hectic? Unfortunately none of those words are quite right for what I'm thinking, even though at the same time all three of them are totally right.

About a week ago I spent 5 hours waiting in line to audition/be reviewed for Bravo's TV show Work of Art. It was insane. I met some cool people, saw some REALLY weird people (awesomee!) and had an extremely awkward review where I basically rambled for 5 minutes while my reviewed smiled, nodded, and said "mm-hmm" a lot. Better luck next year, Self.

Italy is still in the plans, especially since I didn't quite make the cut for Bravo. I found a place I like and now it's just a matter of figuring out the length of time to stay and getting approval from work. Fingers crossed for both (apartment and work-approval)!! The place is small but nice, with a stove AND oven (yes!!!), 2-3 sleeping spaces and it's in Italy. Perfetto.

Life at TJs has been winding down... while at the same time getting crazy. Lisa is back (HUGE YAY!) which is obviously awesome. It's great to have her back in the art room, and also great to have her back because she is seriously awesome at this job. Makes like a bajillion times easier/more fun. But then again, the holidays are coming so that means the crowds are too. Oh goodie...

Have you ever been so torn between your head and your heart that it is physically exhausting? I'm there too lately. In a number of places in life I think. Art, relationships, life goals... how do you pick? I've always been one to follow my heart, but God knows that hasn't always worked out. And while following my head sometimes works, it's always the safer bet and always feel like I'm cheating myself out of something. Best idea yet? Stop thinking :) See what happens and do your best to enjoy the ride :) Oh, and don't cheat myself out of anything. Try everything once. I love the quote that goes something like "If you never try, you've already failed." Did I make that up? Not sure... If I did though, then go me :)

So my last blog entry was about choosing a new title... I think I might like the title of this entry actually! Let me know yes or no... but I think I might go with it!